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Rancid Aluminium'sunlikely hero, leery Liam Gallagher-look-a-like Pete (Rhys Ifans), is wholly unprepared for promotion to head of the family business after his father dies unexpectedly. To make matters worse, no matter how hard he tries he can't impregnate his wife Sarah (Sadie Frost), and believes he's shooting blanks. Unable to handle responsibility, Pete turns to scheming Irish accountant Deeny (Joseph Fiennes) for help, who recommends that the company seek foreign investment to pay off its debts. What Pete doesn't know is that Deeny is trying to do him out of the business and has arranged a "loan" from a Russian Mafia warlord, Mr Kant (Steven Berkoff), whose raven-haired daughter Masha (Tara Fitzgerald) is set on seducing Pete. Given its all-star British cast (which also includes Dani Behr, Keith Allen and Nick Moran) and bestseller source material, Rancid Aluminiummust have looked like a sure-fire comedy hit. But first-time director Ed Thomas (better known as a playwright and theatre director) can't seem to keep a handle on the convoluted plot and the laughs are entirely incidental. Ifans's irritating mockney voiceover doesn't help, nor the fact that Tara Fitzgerald's accent keeps slipping between Stalingrad and Sloane Square. Fans of the James Hawes original may get a thrill from seeing his characters come to life, but it's unlikely anyone else will. --Chris Campion